after the accident i wake up
and i know where barack obama is
the screen showing my heart rate
runs ubuntu linux
it’s like a gaydar
how can i explain?
would be fun to run successful food-review website
where i give marks to foods and decide what alt ppl eat
*knifefork*
give v low marks/’pan-fry’ things everybody likes, like chocolate
so ppl feel guilty if they eat them
(and vice versa) e.g. tofurky gets 10.0 perfect score
it goes on for several years
until something happens like i start hyping mayonnaise
so the site loses all its credibility
despite trying to fix it by giving it a 5.5 afterwards
dairy patriarchy / soy milk feminism
yoghourtnormativity / queer kefir theory
(two portraits of my flatmate)
grindr-like iphone/android app for gay cats
so they can check out other gay cats nearby
send them a flirty mew/claw poke
and maybe meet to criticise other gay cats
(equivalent of sex for gay cats)
,_ _ |\\_,-~/ / _ _ | ,--. ( @ @ ) / ,-' \ _T_/-._( ( / `. \ | _ \ | \ \ , / | || |-_\__ / ((_/`(____,-'
bingo hall for cats
all the numbers on the tickets are “mew”
the bingo woman says “mew”
so all the cats say “mew” because they all have won
(word for bingo is “mew”)