after the accident i wake up

and i know where barack obama is

the screen showing my heart rate

runs ubuntu linux

it’s like a gaydar

how can i explain?

would be fun to run successful food-review website

where i give marks to foods and decide what alt ppl eat

*knifefork*

give v low marks/’pan-fry’ things everybody likes, like chocolate

so ppl feel guilty if they eat them

(and vice versa) e.g. tofurky gets 10.0 perfect score

it goes on for several years

until something happens like i start hyping mayonnaise

so the site loses all its credibility

despite trying to fix it by giving it a 5.5 afterwards

dairy patriarchy / soy milk feminism
yoghourtnormativity / queer kefir theory

grindr-like iphone/android app for gay cats

so they can check out other gay cats nearby

send them a flirty mew/claw poke

and maybe meet to criticise other gay cats

(equivalent of sex for gay cats)

 ,_     _
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 / _  _ |    ,--.
(  @  @ )   / ,-'
 \  _T_/-._( (
 /         `. \
|         _  \ |
 \ \ ,  /      |
  || |-_\__   /
 ((_/`(____,-'

bingo hall for cats

all the numbers on the tickets are “mew”

the bingo woman says “mew”

so all the cats say “mew” because they all have won

(word for bingo is “mew”)

a plant

opens a facebook account

and only likes photosynthesis

and classical music